Moving forward

I wrote this for a couple of friends ...I thought maybe some others could use it as well...

Love is not a switch that can be turned off at will. No matter if you spent just a few days or decades with someone. We all feel love differently and at different times. Even if that time was not always so wonderful, even if you came to disrespect or feel contempt for your partner, the simple act of sharing a life bound you on a cellular level. That emotional glue often feels like love. Is it? I don’t know. It can certainly seem as deep as a well and impossible to leave behind. It is especially to move forward when you are so in love with someone and they are the one that dissolves the relationship. Even if you are the one who dissolves the relationship knowing it is what's best for you will not make it any easier to move forward.

You may be feeling sad and lonely, but that doesn’t mean you always will be. Perhaps, you have not yet met someone else. If that is your desire, you certainly can. Transitions take time. Growth happens in spurts, some lightening fast, and others achingly slow. Riding the emotional racetrack isn’t always easy.
Give yourself the gift of time. Time to heal so you can be open to enjoying your own company, being with friends, nature, family, and possibly a new romantic relationship. Take the time find your sense of self as an individual,  being part of a couple can and often does take away who you are as an individual. Remember: You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else, though it may not come knocking at your door. You have to pursue it, when you are ready. Taking as much time to grieve is crucial. Jumping in to a new love relationship because you are lonely is very tempting, but it deprives you of the opportunity to practice loving and getting to know yourself.

Sometimes, letting go seems impossible; but, day by day, whether you are consciously aware of it, or not, you ground more deeply in the present moment. When you fully understand the past is over you clear an emotional path and open up to new experiences. It requires primal trust in yourself and the universe. Be patient and things will change. You have no idea what great joys are to come. Waiting, allowing, and imagining all ready you for that new phase of life. Endings and beginnings are as natural as each inhale and exhale. Relinquishing the pain and welcoming the new will happen organically when you trust the process. Sometimes, if you are not in that trusting place, the best you can do is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Life will take you places and you will have experiences you never dreamed possible as long as you allow it.  Noone has thatpower except you.